A story from Adin

I wish that I had giant springs in my legs. I would jump up in the sky. I would get on an airplane. I would fly to Finland. I would play fiddle.

Uh, no.

Adin and I were riding in the car and he was talking about someday being 18 yrs old. As usual, he thought he'd need new pants then. Then he switched to talking about being 14 year old. First thing he told me about when he is 14, Erik will have kids and Adin will have a baby! Uh, no. I told him he'd better wait until he's at least 24 and maybe 34 before having a baby. However, I told him he could babysit and then we talked about all the fun things he could do with kids he babysat.

Adin is funny

Adin was talking about how tall he is getting. He stood on a little chair (which he is not allowed to do) and said he was even bigger. He said someday he would be bigger than I am. I agreed. Adin, "When I'm 18!" Me, "Yes. When you are 18 you will be bigger than I am." Adin, thought a minute, "I'm going to need new pants." thought some more, "and shirts."

I put Adin to bed and asked if he wanted a stuffed animal. Adin, "No. You're my snuggle guy."

Adin and I were telling each other we loved each other, then he said, "I love the ceiling." I said, "I love the bed." Adin said, "But the bed is not a person!" I said, "Neither is the ceiling." He found that hilarious and we had to each say our lines about four or five more times. He cracks me up sometimes.

The future

I bought Erik a coloring book called, "The Anti-Coloring Book". On each page is a prompt and often part of a drawing. So there might be a squiggle and the prompt is "the original artist was stung on the thumb by a bee, only you can finish the drawing". Erik asks us to read him prompts until he gets to one he wants to do. So there was a drawing of a crystal ball and he was supposed to draw his future.

He gets started and draws a time machine and Superman (I think he got a couple prompts mixed up) and then I look at him and he's crying. I start asking if he's ok, why he's sad, and he tries to tell me but can't. He says, "It's too sad to say it." So my mind is flipping through possibilities, is he sad because he knows he'll never be Superman? Did he break something of ours and he's afraid to tell us? Finally he says he's sad because thinking about his future means thinking about not living with Joe and me and that's sad.

So Joe and I comfort him and tell him it's a long ways off, that's why it feels sad and scary. I don't really want to tell him that by the time he's moving out he'll want to move out.

Adin gives a hint

The boys are drawing on their Magnadoodles. Adin says to me, "Guess what this is. It's something with three wheels. It's an 18-wheeler!" Then he draws it. "Guess what this is." "An 18-wheeler?" "Yes!"

Funny stuff the kids said today

When I woke up this morning, Adin was in our bed! First time since we got back from Arizona. Joe was up with Erik, so Adin and I got to sleep in until 8:15! Adin woke slowly, and wanted to cuddle in bed for a few minutes before getting up, which was difficult for Erik to accept. Erik was disturbing Adin as he cuddled and Adin yelled, "Stop! I'm trying to concentrate!"

Then while tantruming in bed tonight Adin yelled out, "This is not my favorite place to be! I wish we didn't live here. I wish we lived in Iceland!"

We did a little rearranging this afternoon, and Erik found some old heart shaped candy boxes in his closet. He used the covers to decorate a wall and then was looking at the bottom sections of the boxes. They had conversation hearts glued to them, and one had come loose. Reading his mind, I told Erik not to eat it because it was old and had glue on it. Moments later he says, "It doesn't taste like glue to me." (If Joe had been home he would have used his favorite line: Just because it's non-toxic doesn't mean you should eat it.)

Bragging

Sigh. Well, I'm sorry to brag, but I just have to share. If you don't want to read about it, just stop now!

First, Adin was pushing buttons on my heart rate monitoring watch. He said, "Why does this say 'off'?" I asked to see it. In my normal use of the watch it doesn't display the word off. Sure enough, it said 'off'. I asked how he knew it said off and he read me the letters, although he did read them right to left (F-F-O) instead of left to right (O-F-F). So at naptime we read a book and looked for the word 'off' in it. Adin's not so keen on napping these days, so it can be a bit of a struggle getting him to stay in bed. I was kneeling next to his bed, reaching to get something and he said, "Ah-cuse [excuse]me, I would like to get out of bed." Even for the ultra polite two year old, no you cannot get out of bed!

I've been reading books about race, books that report ethnic minorities talk with their children about race more than white parents do. And that often liberal white parents expose their children to other children of different backgrounds but don't talk about race. When that happens, the white kids notice that the kids all have different colored skin, but also notice that their parents and teachers don't talk about it. And the kids try to think of their own reasons why this is, and they may be coming up with different ideas from what the parents assume (we're all the same, we're all equal).

Which is a very long way to introduce that I've been trying to have age appropriate discussions with Erik about race, even though it's very uncomfortable for me. So on Monday, I mentioned briefly to him that he didn't have school that day, and that it was a holiday. I told him MLK's name and explained very briefly that it used to be that white kids and black kids went to different schools and MLK worked to change that. And that's all I said, and we didn't talk about it again. When I picked Erik up from preschool later in the week, his teacher told me quietly that he was the only one in the class who knew who MLK was! I didn't get a chance to get the whole story from her, and Erik won't tell me about school, so that's all I know. I'm quite proud, though, that he remembered and that he somehow seems to have been able to talk about it in school.

Small world!

Adin and I attend a parent and child class one morning a week. After snack time, we go over and sit on the carpet and read books together. Adin chose a counting book that had the text in English and Spanish. He is learning to count in Spanish at daycare, so I asked him if he wanted me to read the book to him in English or Spanish. He chose Spanish, which was fine when the words were short and easy. After a couple pages they got to be very long. It was a little embarrassing because two of the other parents in the class are native Spanish speakers, and two of the teachers speak a little Spanish, as well. I was quite relieved when Adin switched over to counting in Norwegian. It was easier for me to name the items, but then the nanny of one of the other children asked me, in Swedish, if I was from Norway! It turns out she is a nanny from Sweden, and I just had never heard her talk enough to even pick up that she had an accent.

You gotta sing!

On the drive home from the YMCA today, we listened to a couple CDs. The first was just the song "You gotta sing". The lyrics are "You gotta sing when the spirit says sing" repeat several times. Verse 2 "You gotta pray when the spirit says pray". Then we listened to a CD of a variety of Christian children's songs. When we got home Adin was very sad and wanted to hear the "Deer" song again. It took me several listens to even understand 'deer' and I had no idea which song that was. I listed off all the ones we'd listened to and he said no to all of them. So we came into the house and played and forgot all about it. After his nap, I was changing his diaper and noticed he was singing, "You gotta sing when the deer says sing"! Mystery solved.

The Fifth day of Christmas

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, the kids and I went to my parents' and we decorated gingerbread men and a house. They had their new disposable cameras and took lots of pictures. Once the house was built and they were decorating it, Adin drizzled tiny colored balls on the house and said, "It's snowing in Pepperkakeby!" which means 'it's snowing in gingerbread town'. He said this about five or six times before I started the video and unfortunately, you only catch a little at the beginning, but then Erik started saying it, too. We have already begun to eat the men and house. I figure they aren't going to get any better. Adin ate the arm of his man, but tonight refused to eat his leg.
Update: Ok, I just posted this, and I can't get the video to play. It may just need some time to load, but I am not up for tinkering with it tonight! I will try to repost tomorrow if it still isn't working.

The second day of Christmas

 

 

Sunday evening my parents and Gary came over for dinner. We played a game that Harald and Ronnaug sent us home from Norway with this past summer and we saved as a Christmas present. It involves filling in picture cards with colored pegs. We've had to make a house rule of being able to share pegs with the other players to help the game move quickly enough to keep the attention of a two year old.
The boys became enraptured with my mom's disposable camera and wanted to take lots of pictures with it. They then wanted to use our digital camera, as well, which makes us nervous! So we used a little of their Christmas money to buy them each a digital camera. It will be fun to get the pictures developed and see all the pictures of the walls, floor, and who knows what else!

Christmas Day

 

 

 

 

So Friday evening, Joe's dad and sisters came over, but I guess I didn't take any pictures! The boys got a toy chainsaw and hedgetrimmer from Paul. Our tree is very well trimmed, let me tell you!

Christmas Day we went to my parents' and Joe's sisters and mom came too. We had a delicious lunch of meatballs and roast. During gift opening, Erik frequently commented that this was the best Christmas ever!!! He and Adin received a variety of police cars and fire trucks and Erik also received a fire fighter costume, complete with a little extinguisher and a little bullhorn. (Is that what they're called? You can talk into them to make announcements? He loves making announcements.) Adin received an mp3 player and microphone which he said were really cool. Oh, and Santa brought him 'a fancy guitar' which he had been talking about all month. It is so fun to watch him play it. He frowns and takes a wide stance with his legs to brace himself like he's working very hard. I will have to try and video it sometime.

Christmas Eve morning

 

 

 

 

My parents and uncle came over Christmas Eve morning for brunch. Gary brought Adin a puzzle, which the boys enjoyed putting together. My parents brought along some cookies that my mom's cousin Cindy and aunt Barb had made. They made some Sally Ann (or Aunt Sally?) cookies in the shape of gingerbread boys. They had found frosting markers and decorated them with faces and red bow ties, very cute. One had Adin's name on it and one had Erik's. Adin enjoyed playing with his gingerbread boy and talking to it, but he would not eat it.

Julebord

 

 

 

Adin has been attending Barnehage with my dad some weeks and me other weeks. In December they had a Julebord. Family was invited and they had some activities for the kids to do. People brought finger food to share and then there was a short and informal program. The kids sang some songs from class and then we all joined hands and walked around the Christmas tree. Finally, julenisse came with a big bag of presents for the children. It was very fun, although hard for kids to wait their turn to get something from julenisse. Adin had fun and participated in all or most of the activities. I don't remember why Erik wanted to wear his pajamas, but it didn't seem worth it to fight him on that count!

O Christmas Tree!

 

 

 

Here are some pictures of the boys helping to decorate my parents' Christmas tree. They enjoyed climbing on the step stool to reach up higher. I notice that the next time I visited, some of the ornament clumps had been more evenly redistributed around the tree! The picture of them lying on the floor shows how they posed when asked to sit in front of the tree for a picture.

playing and sharing

Last week I posted about the boys just starting to play together more. This week there have been amazing stretches of them playing together. They played together in the basement for a half an hour while I made dinner. Today they played in Adin's room, tossing stuffed animals back and forth. What's been really wonderful for me to hear, is how they will do a little negotiating. Erik will state how he wants the play to happen, Adin might say a slightly different plan, and Erik will comment on how they can do both, or take turns or compromise. It's really different from just a couple months ago, when any idea that wasn't his was an affront to Erik's very personhood.

Adin has finished up another round of antibiotics this week and getting him to take the medicine was challenging. One strategy that sometimes worked was to continue to insist that he take it until he became mildly upset, then offer a treat afterward. Adin would then counter offer to eat the treat first and then take the medicine. And he actually usually did. Monday night, Joe was at a meeting and I was trying to get the medicine into Adin. We reached the point where Adin (and Erik) would get a sugar cookie after taking the medicine. Adin never counter offered! I was frustrated and told Erik he could go ahead and eat his cookie. No, he said he wanted to wait and eat it when Adin ate his. Adin's cookie fell and one point of the star came off. I let him eat it, but still he wouldn't take the medicine. Knowing we had more stars and hoping to get him a little upset, I ate one of the points off Adin's star. When he was running around he crashed into me, the cookie fell and one or two more points fell off. I ate more of the points. Still he wouldn't budge. Finally I ate the cookie (planning to give him another star cookie if/when he took the medicine). Adin was upset and I was about to tell him my plan, when Erik ran over and told Adin that if he took his medicine, Erik would give him half of his cookie! Adin agreed, took the medicine and Erik gave him half his cookie!

post Christmas crib talk

Adin was cracking me up so I went and got my computer. The things he said after I started typing weren't quite as funny, but you might get a kick out of them. I have no idea what he was talking about in the first line.

What does that other thing you got for Christmas after something else?
Mama did you know that you and me and papa and Erik all have beds? All of us!
Why did you get a turkey baster for Christmas? [this was a gift from Joe]
Mama, my favorite game is football.

lillejuleaften 2010

The following vignette perfectly summarizes the boys' relationship right now:

I came out of the shower and they were playing doctor in the rose room.
Erik: checked Adin's right ear "Looks fine."
checks other ear "You have a carrot in there.
checks first ear again "You have a potato in here".
Puts blood pressure cuff on Adin. "Looks good."
Looks in doctor bag, pulls out plastic bandaid. "Are you ready for a bandaid?"
Adin: backs away, cringing. "Noo! I'm not ready."
Erik: gets really mad, "Well you need a bandaid and you're stupid."
Fighting ensues.

So basically, they alternate between playing together wonderfully, and fighting over things like a glass of water. (Anne: "We have plenty of water! You don't need to fight over that glass!") I learned that they are not yet able to control themselves better when I threaten them with Santa watching, so I have given up.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Adin's baby Erik

Sometimes when I'm lovin' on Adin, I tell him that even though he's not a baby anymore, he's still my baby. He usually says, "I'm not a baby. I'm a kid." A couple days ago he started pretending to be a baby, crying, laying in my lap. Then he started telling me he had a baby named Erik. Fortunately, he's said that when Erik's not around, I don't know that Erik would appreciate it. Today he wanted me to be his baby. So I finally decided to bring the baby doll out of toy storage. Erik never played with it, so we put it away. Adin enjoyed wrapping it in a towel and putting it down to sleep. I'm hoping this will give him a focus for his intense love for Erik.

Erik LOVES snow

We woke up yesterday to snow covering the ground, and falling in fat flakes. Erik went out with Joe and shoveled, then he played by himself and with the neighbors. Joe's mom came over to watch the kids so we could go to the MN Orchestra (thanks Lois!) and she and Erik worked really hard building a snow fort. [This picture doesn't really do it justice. It's melted some, and you can't really see the shape. Oh well.] Today he's been out there all day, as well, and enjoyed showing off the fort to the neighbors. Last spring, he told me that fall was his favorite season and winter was his second favorite. I scoffed inwardly, thinking, he'll have so much fun playing outside this summer he'll change his mind. Nope. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if winter bumps fall to the number 2 spot.